I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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