So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
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yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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