Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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