a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize