living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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