Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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