i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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