Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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