This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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