I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize