I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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