C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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