I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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