I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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