Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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