i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize