and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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