ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize