I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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