would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize