She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize