My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize