I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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