my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize