I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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