meet me or not, i'm out of control
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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