Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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