saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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