I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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