I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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