she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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