Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize