Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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