Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I didn't notice because vodka
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize