I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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