I wanna bring you to show and tell
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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