they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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