So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
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Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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