he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize