Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
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I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
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I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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