Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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