so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
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She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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