Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
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The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
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I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So. Much. Porn.
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