Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
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