New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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