is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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