9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize