Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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