Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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