the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize