After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize