we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize