if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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